Ending the Beginning
by SylvenSilence
Summary: Because no matter how high you ascend, there's still higher to go. AxM. Slash. Mildly descriptive sex.


**Ending the Beginning**

**Ok, I actually read the Mortal Instruments books a while ago, but I found the fanfic world and had a Great Idea, so now it's a fic. Actually, two. Here's the first one. **

Alec sighed and walked down the dark path into the forest. Cool night winds blew across his face. He had to get away from the Institute and his family –and _Jace _- to think. Magnus was mad at him. Not mad exactly, but he couldn't think of any word that could describe it. Exasperated? Frustrated? All three?

Magnus wanted him to choose. He wanted Alec's love – or he wanted Alec out of his life. The final ultimatum. So now he had to choose between hanging on to some hopeless, unrequited love, or trying to forget said love and love someone else who was gay and would love him back. When put that way, it didn't seem that hard. But he had loved Jace for so long – he didn't really want to give that up. Even if his stupid, unrequited love wasn't ever returned. Because that love was – safe.

But with Magnus, it was sparks and electricity and life and fore and passion and goodness and wonderful, and he never, ever, ever wanted it to stop. With Jace, it was safe and cold and sparkles, like a dark, abandoned room. But even though he knows, his heart needs a better reason. So he decides to try to figure out who he loves more. Big mistake. He just can't figure it out. NO answer springs into his mind, no first impulse, just the thought that he can't decide that way because while neither of the loves are brotherly or friendly loves, they are to different. And he really can't decide anyway. He was never good at that type of thing.

And then, lost in his thoughts, he slams into a small, blond girl on the path he thought was deserted. He jumps up almost instantly and helps her to her feet, apologizing over and over. She laughs, a pretty sound, and waves it off.

"I'm fine. It's fine. No harm done, right?"

"Right. No harm. But I should have been paying more attention."

She laughs again – this time shorter and quieter – and again waves him off. "Is something on your mind? Can I help?"

And he doesn't know why but he thinks she can and he's just blurting out his problem(s) to her and she's listening intently. "I... well, I'm gay, in the first place" –she doesn't look disgusted at all, just interested in his story, interested in how she can help- "and there's this guy I've been seeing, who's really great, but he's given me this ultimatum, cuz I like this other guy, who's straight, and who has no idea, and the guy I've been seeing said I could give up on the guy who I love but who doesn't love me or I could get out of his life, because he loves me and he doesn't want to be playing second fiddle and he wants me to love him, not someone who will never, ever love me back. And when I'm with the guy I like who loves me – I'll call him Matt- it feels all sparks and fire and passion and heat and electricity and wonderful but when I'm with unrequited love – James – it feels all cold and bland and like a dark, abandoned room..."

And she holds up her hand and he just trails off, "Whoa, whoa, that's enough. I'm just fifteen, and I don't know anything about love, but I think you should go with the guy who loves you back. For more than one reason: first, he _loves you_ and swings the same way, and second, because it sounds like you love _him_ and you're just afraid to face up to it and maybe you had a crush on "James" year ago, but now it's just something you're holding onto so you don't have to face the fact that you're dating someone who is gay, because you're gay, and the fact that you love "Matt". "

Alec nods, and he thinks that he understands. The girl slips by and he calls out after her, "What's your name?"

She replies, faintly, as she slips away in the shadows, "Lilith," with a chiming laugh, and he just stands there, shocked, and then decides it's a coincidence and she's not _really_ Lilith, it's just her name, because _why_ would _Lilith _come and talk with _him?_

xxxxxxxXxxxxxxx

He hesitates for a moment, his hand in the air, and then, steeling himself, he knocks on the door. The glittery warlock with spiky hair opens the door. "Magnus?"

"Alec. Why are you here?" he sighed.

"I've... chosen. And I wanted to let you know."

"Oh?" Magnus' voice is cold. "And just what might your decision be?"

"You. I choose you. I... love you. I don't love Jace. I... had a crush on him when I was little, but... I never loved him. It's you I love."

Magnus' face softens and he picks up Alec (Alec is surprised Magnus is that strong) and carries him inside, slamming the door shut with his foot, and twirls Alec around until both of them feel sick and they fall on the couch, Magnus on top of Alec. The next moment, they are kissing like they will never stop. Magnus is ripping off Alec's shirt and Alec has already snaked his arms around and rested his and on that swell where Magnus' back ends and his butt begins.

Alec moans and the invisible electricity in the air sparks into a raging fire and they are stumbling into Magnus' bedroom, onto his bed with the canary yellow sheets. Alec has ripped off Magnus' shirt and Alec's shirt was lost a while ago, and they haven't stopped kissing, and Magnus is loosening Alec's pants, and as they come up for air Magnus tells Alec he loves him too, and Alec goes to work on Magnus' shimmery rainbow leather pants and then Magnus is on top of Alec and both of them are groaning in pleasure, pleasure just this side of pain, it's so intense. Then Alec yells and Magnus screams and Alec rolls over under Magnus, who hold a push up position with trembling arms until Alec is lying on his back and then he flops down and they kiss, and fall asleep in Magnus' now quiet house, neither waking until late into the next day.

**This is my first time writing a scene that went into sex, and I wasn't very descriptive, but, well, sue me. Should this be rated T or M? I'm rating this M just to be safe, but of enough people think it should be rated T and can give me a reason/reasons, then I'll change it. M is just being cautious cause this is pretty mild. Give me feedback on this. Finale coming up soon. **

**Disclaimer: Don't own the characters. Don't own the books. Do own the plotline of this. **


End file.
